About 10 years ago, I grew weary of military life. Well, honestly, I had grown tired of it before then. When I was still my Navy dad’s dependent and in college, I said I’d never marry anyone in the military and live that kind of lifestyle again. Pretty much the next day, my now husband asked me on a date, and we were married a year later.

But it was 10 years ago, when we were due for another military move and probably more deployments, when I really began to resist. And if there’s one thing the Department of Defense knows, it’s this: when the spouse isn’t happy, the service member is probably looking to get out.