Military Childhood Romance?...or an arranged marriage?

Normally, I wouldn’t bore you with another how-we-met story, except mine speaks to the “small world” of the military. Plus, I feel obligated to forewarn unsuspecting families who jokingly “set up” their young children.

Before I tell you how I met my husband, however, let me tell you how he met my dad.

Twenty-seven years ago, a one-year-old Dustin flew overseas with his mom to meet the USS Franklin Roosevelt and see his dad (“PT”), who was deployed with VF-111, an F-14 squadron based out of NAS Miramar in San Diego, Ca.

Failing memories and nostalgia have blurred the subsequent details, but during that time, somewhere in France, Dustin’s dad introduced his wife and son to a new friend and fellow squadron mate, Lin “Yank” Rutherford.

“Yank” told the young Dustin, “When you get back to San Diego, you should go meet my new daughter, Sarah.”

Upon returning to the states, Dustin and his mom did just that. And they didn’t have to walk far. Our families lived only a few blocks away from each other.

Several months later, both Dustin and I watched VF-111 fly-in to Miramar, and it was there that I met my dad for the first time. I was seven months old. So, as fate would have it, I met my husband before I met my dad, and Dustin met his father-in-law before he met his wife.

By now you’re probably gushing with “awe’s” and wondering if we were sweethearts from the start, but don’t get excited yet. Our romance had a rocky start.

First, when I was three-years old, Dustin teasingly persuaded me to throw away my baby blanket. That night, afraid to go to sleep without the favored piece of flannel, I made my mom go over to the Smiley’s and dig i t out of the trash. Typically, love connections don’t flourish when someone’s mom is leaning over the garbage fetching a blankey for a crying toddler.

Next, Dustin and I attended elementary school together, and because he was the school safety patrol officer, wore fluorescent “jam” shorts, and had buckteeth, I would have rather banged my head against a brick wall than talk to Dustin Smiley. Family and squadron gatherings were spent with me trying desperately to avoid Dustin, and Dustin trying to recapture the magic of a moment shared over a trash can in San Diego.

When I was in fifth grade, Dustin moved away, and then I only heard of him through the yearly Christmas cards our parents exchanged. But in 1997, after Dustin graduated from the Naval Academy, and after 10 years apart, we met again. Dustin’s version of the story is that he called and asked me out. The truth is, his dad called and set us up. Either way, all I remember is saying, “Dustin who?” as I stared at a faded childhood picture in my baby-book.

“Just go and be nice,” my mom told me. “He’s a family friend, and it’s not like you have to marry him!”

I was not enthusiastic about my “blind” date, and put very little care into getting ready. I lazily applied make-up while chatting on the phone with a friend about how much I dreaded the date.

I was stunned, however, when I went downstairs and saw this gorgeous grown man standing in the kitchen talking to my mom. I didn’t even say hello. I ran back upstairs, put on more make-up and changed my clothes.

At dinner that night, Dustin and I realized we had more in common than a shared military history, and our bond was deeper than a faded photograph could reveal. Before the night was over, I knew eventually we’d be married.

Almost two years later, we got engaged with our families watching. After the ring was on my finger and the hugs and tears subsided, my dad was found wandering aimlessly through the room mumbling, “I can’t believe PT is going to be my in-law. I can’t believe PT is going to be my in-law.”

Moral of the story: Next time you jokingly tell your buddy, “hey, wouldn’t that be funny if our kids ended up together,” remember….it may not be a joke after all.

(Author's Note: Next time you're in the National Museum of Naval Aviation in Pensacola, Florida, check out the squadron plaque from the VF-111 Sundowners. The names of Dustin and Sarah's dads are listed right next to each other!)

PHOTO: Dustin and Sarah Smiley on pier at NAS North Island in San Diego, Ca, waiting for their dads to return home with the VF-111 Sundownders on the USS Franklin Roosevelt. 1979.

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